today i unexpectedly had my first day of work with LA unified. I don't know how it happens, but i always get randomly selected to work at audubon (or perhaps someone is secretly requesting me over there? i doubt theyre that organized). the only reason why i work at audubon because it's a 5min drive from home. i have been currently blessed with an awesome class situation where i don't have to do jack SHIT in terms of discipline. thank god. and i only have like 3 kids per class. and i have an aid who has been ther eforever and a rad teacher next door. so all things considered, i have it pretty good. and because it's the first day of school i might be in that room for a while too (cheers for routine and stable work. and full power a/c).
my studio is currently a pants free zone!!! no pants allowed. this mid level heat bugs. it's cool outside, possible too cool for a/c and too hot to bear without it. dilemma dilemma. will take cold shower.
i really like this artist Martin Boyce. also a big big fan of Thomas Scheibitz. last night i had this overwhelming feeling of not wanting to move from LA. maybe it was the really bland chris burden interview in the new ANP quarterly that somehow influenced me, but there is a calm about this city that i for sure must take for granted. and the unique structure and culture of it. i mean, i guess i can always come back. right? is that a good thing though? is that a smart move? who knoooows. who knows about these things. i just, i don't know. i have a lot of anxiety entering this whole process. maybe i won't get in anywhere and i won't have to deal with this. maybe this means i'm not ready. but i feel i am ready, i have a desire to know more about art and painting and i need to learn.
sometimes we just have to let ourselves be unhappy to be happy again.
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