perverse and often baffling

so i suppose it has been a while since i have written. a while, a while.

well, it's the dawning of yet another age of aquarius! another season has passed, and another is coming to an end. meaning, i am once again faced with my best fiend: unemployment.

this time, i was not passively laid off by the public sector, but passively "let go" by the corporate conglomerate. apparently they are looking for "commitment" and "motivation to work" as qualities in their employees, both of which i admittedly lack. really though, my parting of ways with my corporate sugar daddy was over a conflict of interest, my summer vacation to south africa, which has been in the works since january. so, it's really not as much of a reflection upon my character as i am making it out to be, but with my incredible ability to magnify the minute, everything is.

so, back to the topic: unemployment. oh, how i've missed you! how i've missed the days of living a depression-era existence in my los angeles alcove, daily decisions of "eat or drink?" (rather than having both options), never going to the movies, making conscientious and conservative purchases at goodwills, never paying for my donation-based yoga classes, and somehow always diverting the infamous bank overdraft every month, not using a credit card, and paying rent to puzzled roommates.

i know. it sounds impossible.

but it's something that i have done for so long that i've really done well disciplining myself with-- i consider it the price of freedom. how i long for the nights to have time on a tuesday to drink beers and kick my feet up, thinking about what i'll do next in the studio tomorrow. like the guy from the 4-hour work week says, "time is your most valuable commodity." and even though i disagree his economically unsound, niche and class-oriented work day-cutting tactics, the man has a point.