love hurts

jesus, i just encountered my first credit card cancelling experience.

i've had this citicard that i paid off all the balance of and i haven't used for months. i even cut it up, just never closed it. so i finally get arond to closing it today. i called customer service and this is what happened:

them: hello, how are you doing ma'am are you okay today? (heavy, thick accent)
me: i'm fine. thanks.
them: what can we do for you?
me: i'd like to cancel my card.
them: why? ourbankissogretwehavelowinererstrateasdhjaksdhboomshakala?
me: (not being able to fully understand) uh, i just want to cancel and close the card please.
them: okay. let me transfer you to an expert. (puts me on hold)
me: hi, i want to cancel my card.
them: okay can i ask why? after 3 years, why?
me: i haven't used it in months. i cut it up. i have a new card. i want to cancel this one.
them: but WHY?! WEHAVETHEBESTPLANEVERLOWEESTINTERESTRATE82U48PERCENT8ERIUPERCENTRATEURH!
me: i don't want it. i have a new card. i want to cancel this one. it's been cut up for months.
them: but WHY?! WEHAVETHEBESTPLANEVERLOWEESTINTERESTRATE82U48PERCENT8ERIUPERCENTRATEURH!
me: i want to cancel it.
them: but WHY?! WEHAVETHEBESTPLANEVERLOWEESTINTERESTRATE82U48PERCENT8ERIUPERCENTRATEURH!
me: i want to cancel it.
them: ALRIGHT BYE

i swear that's how it ended.

breaking up ain't easy.