be the brave one

so, back from san francisco. as of tonight.

although i had a good trip, a part of me thinks it wasn't totally necessary, as i think it didn't do me much good as far as relaxing goes asie from a change of scenery and eating well (consistently eating well goes a long way, however). it wasn't necessarily stressful to be away from home, and it was good to hang out. i guess it just felt short.

bill callahan/smog was good, very touching, quite amazing, but my one criticism that was very distracting was that damned violin that he had play on ALL the songs, even if it wasn't originally composed into them. it totally ruined the crucial stringy, delicate vibes of the originals. he is such a stud. we missed sir richard bishop unfortunatley due to matt's laziness. and spread the laziness to everyone but me. but mE!

also saw into the wild, the new sean penn. since a lot of people don't know much about the plot, i won't say anything to the one person who i know reads this blog, and she probably already knows a lot about the movie already, so it doesn't really matter. BUt, but, i will still stay mum and say that it's a great movie, and you should see it.

since i've become so accustomed to san francisco and my life there, it gets a little boring. maybe i need not to go as much. i need to pay more attention to my friends here. and i realized that i kind o do more fit in with my friends here than with the people i know there. maybe because i'm more used to them here. no, forget i said that. they are all great. they are all fabulous. everyone is fabulous. like michaela mentioned today, "i'm beginning to like people now." word.

so now i have a lot to come back to here-- my slightly growing but forver will be stunted mode of growth at my job that pays well and allows me freedom, painting up a storm, going out and being more ambitious, staying directed, etc. i'm feeling the good vibes and i'm not going to let things get in my way. i want to feel it all.

but for now i have to face the immediate problems i have: cleaning up my shit. too bad i was too lazy/kind of drunk of a fuck the night before i left and didn't have time to clean up my space, and now i hope i don't have fruit flies everywhere. um don't ask.

basically, it's good to be back.